The flight attendant-passenger charter: Time for a truce
Passengers love to complain about flight attendants and flight attendants seem to love to reciprocate. Spend just two minutes searching aviation keywords on the net and I guarantee you will find endless complaints by both parties. While this attrition is never going to go away entirely, there are things both sides can do to minimize the angst. I give you the passenger-flight attendant charter.
Electronic Devices
Passengers: Switch off your electronic devices when asked to do so. If you (and the emails some of you idiots insist on sending during the take off roll) were that important you would not be flying commercially, you would be on Air Force One.
FA’s: You constantly remind us that you are there for our safety and comfort, in that order. With that in mind, announcements pertaining to safety should be textbook every time – do not ad-lib! On a recent hop the FA asked that passengers “turn off all handheld devices, Nintendos, Game Boys, Game Gears, pagers, beepers, cell phones, Blackberry’s, blueberries and any other electronic fruit.” Should I also switch off my time machine that I’m using to play my Game Gear? As for the Blackberry joke, please no.
Manners
Passengers: I get it, you’re tired and jet-lagged. You had to take an extra-stupid connection to make the flight you’re on. Your last flight left late because of some drunken imbecile and was full of screaming babies. All of the above does not give you license to be rude to FA’s – smiles and the terms “please” and “thank you” go a long way.
FA’s: I get it, you’re overworked and underpaid. You had to dead-head like a fiend to make the flight you’re on. Your last flight left late because of some drunken imbecile and was full of screaming babies. All of the above does not give you license to be rude to passengers – smiles and the terms “please” and “thank you” go a long way.
The FA call button
Passengers: Hammering at the FA call button as if you’re trying to communicate your request via Morse code is not cool. Simmer down, you will be tended to. Also please realize that you don’t always need the flight attendant. I know we live in an increasingly impersonal society but you might want to consider asking your seatmate what the flight number is or perhaps read your boarding pass you moron.
FA’s: Reasonable passengers like myself know it’s a call button, not the bat signal. I don’t expect you to appear out of the seat pocket in front of me with a beaming smile and an oven-fresh cupcake but casually sauntering past and giving me the “talk to the hand” and “one minute” gestures is not cool.
Curtains
Passengers: Stop trying to peer through the curtains into the cabin ahead of you. It’s simple, the cabin in front of you has more space, better booze and a better passenger to FA ratio. That’s it, that’s all. You’re not missing out on the second coming of Christ, leave it alone.
FA’s: Try not to look so smug when you’re drawing the curtain. Let’s not forget that you’re working the more exclusive cabin, not enjoying it.
The aisles
Passengers: Even if you have an aisle seat, the aisle does not belong to you! Resist the urge to sprawl out and keep your legs and elbows to yourself.
FA’s: The aisles are supposed to be kept clear, but guess what, people fall asleep and droop over. Resist the temptation to drag race carts back to the galley, it will save somebody a lot of pain and will save you from having to double back with the first aid kit.
Happy flying!
